Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
