I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
