i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
