She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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