i jhust puked up my retainher.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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