1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize