if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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