So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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