You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
