you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
