Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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