and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
