I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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