the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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