I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
