do herpes really smell.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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