I want to stick my p in your. b.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
