They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
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OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Boobs speak an international language.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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