thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
