erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
