there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
