What did we do last night that was yellow?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
