We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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