I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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