in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
