I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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