Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
