I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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