I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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