I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
