he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
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He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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