do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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