im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
