thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
