Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
