i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
