Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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