He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
