Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
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Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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