How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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