1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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