Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
