i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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