Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
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Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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