Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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