their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
