The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
too bad you live with your parents still
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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