The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
