Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
