yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
