return my video game
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
