We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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