If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
