Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
