tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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