operation harelip BJ is a go
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
