Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
