apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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