Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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