If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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