i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
