Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
