i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
