I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
