i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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