so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
