why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
