I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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