I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
