We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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