no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
