I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
