Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
