So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
